Alright Ladies and Gentlmene!! How you doinn!!??

Glad you all came out and support Bardfest.. that's great..

Who didn't know Bardfest was coming? Anyone? Somebody in a comma for the last 6 months..

You know it happens. You know I didn't have a girlfriend at the time, but can you imagine..

You're getting a little hot and heavy and you're thinking.. mm this is going good. You're leaning in for the big one ..yeah that kiss that's gonna take you all the .. then you HEAR.... BAaarrrrrrddddFEEeeeeessssst!!! don't worry she heard it too..

We gotta a lot of changes in the realms these days, right?

We got the Empyrean Onslaughts... yeah.. How many you all running to that?

1- That's right for those who didn't raise your hands.. that's not for you.. that's for the speeeecial people

2- Yeah ok .. about half you know. For the rest of you.. it'll be here when you're ready or it'll be something else.. no worries

But that's ok! .. Cause the Gods didn't forget the up and comers. They brought the "INQUISTOOR"

Yeaaah... We're gonna give you two giant glowing balls next to your head! They're gonna make you better.. at the right price of course and once we figure out how they work.. cause Yeah will still working on that.. stay tuned.

(You know who I feel the most sorry for when it comes to the arcariums?)

The guy named RIcARDO.. right? or any version thereof..

Like you see ol' Rick coming with his brand new arcariums right?? On full blast. And you're like "YO DICKY.. are those two glowing balls next to your head or you just glad to see us?? Do they got a volume lever? The mare's be goin buck wild ever since she seen ya! Could yiou turn em down for us? We're having to talk her down.. Whooa Bessy.. it's not time yet girl.. I promise he's not the one. It's that Bessy has a new boyfriend Ricky!

(laughter)

Yeah.. so I'm dating now.. Like in a relationship..

Right.. wow ..yeah.. you know

I think the secret is .. If you hang out with the person all the time long enough, eventually they just grant you

common law relationship status.. you know?

She's like yeaah might as well call you that.. can't seem to get rid of you any other way.. try this.

(chuckle)

Naa really it's a good thing.

And you know?? I think the real secret to the success at least one..

We continually find the most ludicrous excursions to get into.. Like I don't call them hunts.. or adventures.. No. And I totally blame her for starting them everytime.. I'm just the one that manages to turn them catastrophic event most times.. 99%

Like couple a weeks ago..

We're relaxing.. in the pipe den .. Hinterwilds.. enjoying a little fire action. No big deal..

And she leans over.. and says.. "Hey..you want some ooze action?" I smiles at me.. you know that smile

So I'm like.. "Yeah.. I'd like to get slippery with you.. what'd you have in mind?"

She's like NO you one track wonder! I got an ooze task gutter brain!

I'm like Oh yeah!!! An ooze task.. yeap I knew that's what you meant.. sure I'm in .. let's do it!

Now mind you I just capped and I KNOW SHE TOLD me that oozes can eat you. But that was like 3 weeks ago.. who remembers anything from 3 weeks ago..

So off we go to the DEED pits right. Gonna get the ooze action on.

And we're chopping up oozes..left and right.. making little oozes.. and choppin them up.

And she like see easy, get credit for all of them.

(See now right there was where it all went wrong.. stay humble my friends!)

Next thing I know we're in a room so full you'd thought we'd just become the biggest celebrities in the Pitts, and everybody wanted an autograph.

No worries though.. I"m doing my thing, she's doin her thing. This is Kitt and Sant .. troll dozers incorporated.. you line em up.. we mow em down. WE got this.. you know

Next thing I know.

She's gone.. I didn't see her run.. feared.. I know she can do that special fog thing.. but then I start thinking and that's not good..

I KNEW IT! SHE LEFT ME! They always told me.. don't mess around with a monk. They dress up in strange clothes and you'll wake up with hairy leg next to you. Don't do it.

I can't believe it. And I'm telling myself.. How dare she leave me here.. boy just wait till I give her a piece of my mind. Boy she's gonna get .. but I gotta get out of here.

And I do amazingly.. and do a little sigil escape action and bam.. I home free..

And I'm like .. take that, evil plot foiled, that'll show her..

Next thing I know I hear in the sweetest and softest voice you can imagine in my thoughts.. like so angelic

Help me..

Help me.. kill the oozes

I'm like kill the oozes.. Lady you kill the oozes, you the one that left me..

Help me.. I'm being digested and I"m dieing.. and then I thought.

I TOTALLY forgot they could eat you! And then my next thought was.

What room did I LEAVE her in???

(chuckle)

You wanta know what happened next?

You gotta vote for me hear me tomorrow, my name's Santilian you've been great audience! Thank you and enjoy BAAAAAAARDfest!